I hope you are all well and having a blessed year so far, I’ve been meaning to post for some time but unfortunatley life had other plans for me. I was super busy with other things that I did not have any time to keep my blog up to date but DON’T WORRY I AM HERE FOR GOOD! I will try to post once or twice a week BUT heres the BIG BUT guys… I want to try something new….. Instead of doing makeup and skin care reviews which I’m sure you all love, I want to start talking about relevant issues us women face on a daily basis yet find it hard to talk about. As a young women my self, I know how hard it is to be faced with problems and difficulties in life without having a supportive network to help you cope with these issues…..and that is why I’m here to let you guys know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and that it’s perfectly normal to be upset and sometime confused about certain things but this is why I have decided to address the issues and to help so that you don’t feel alone or aliented.
Today I would like to touch upon a very important topic, something that is personal to me and close to my heart…SELF LOVE
Now it’s very easy for people to throw around the word ‘self-love’ without thinking twice about its purpose. It’s very easy for someone to say “If you loved yourself, this wouldn’t have happened to you.”, “you can’t love anyone unil you love yourself first” or “how can you expect to be confident without self-love”…. I’m sorry to say this but those that make statements like the examples I’ve given, have never really experienced self-love.
The journey to self-love is full of mistakes, suffering, confusion and pain, but once you get there its the most beautiful, worthwhile journey you will have experienced… I’m saying this from my own personal experience.
God knows how I made it to 21 and intact, as my teen years were very unstable due to my insecurities. I loved comparing myself to other girls, I loved putting myself down and I looooooved taking second place in everything. I would never push myself to be better than yesterday, it was alway ” I can’t do that” rather than ” I can do that and I will do it”. I pretty much depended and relied on other people to do things for me, my whole world revolved around them rather than me, I couldn’t imagine life without them, it was as if my life depended on them and if they were to suddenly go, my life would crumble… that’s how insecure I was, I allowed another person to determine my worth and existence. It’s pretty sad when I think about, I guess I hated myself so much, I’d do anything to not be alone. I spent my entire teenage years with some kind of companion, friend or partner to lean on for everything, I guess I didn’t understand self-love back then because I was so tied up in other peoples shit (mind my language) , that I didn’t value myself enough to give myself some space, some alone time so that I could ‘find’ myself or reconnect with myself.
2017 was probably the worst year of my life, complete and utter fuck up (mind my language)… this was the year that everyone decided to get up and leave, now as you can imagine spending most of my life depending on someone, and then for them to just leave had a HUUUUUUUUGE impact on me. I went through a very very tough time of trying to find my ‘role in life’ , trying to figure out who I am without depending on someone. It didn’t work guys, I actually hated myself, I hated my life. It was at this point where I was at my lowest. Guys I don’t know if you’ve ever had this feeling inside of you, like this empty feeling as if something is missing… yeah I had that feeling for such a long time. This had a really big impact on my Imaan , my prayers were so inconsistent, I stopped reading Quran and eventually I gave it all up. I couldn’t stand myself either, like I was so sick of myself, so sick of feeling worthless. I felt like there was no meaning to my life now that I didn’t have anyone to depend on.
I would spend every waking hour to myself, trying to put the pieces together, trying to figure out how and why I had gotten myself into this mess .I can’t stress enough how important it was to find the answer because if I didnt, it’d eat me up.
During this period I went through a stage of physically being present but menatlly i was somewhere else, slowly began losing interest in everything associated with ‘living’.
The Road To Recovery-
By September 2017, enough was enough. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and decided life is too short to be unhappy.
- The first step I took was removing negativity out my life whether that was people, relationships, feelings and thoughts…It all had to be removed so that I could concentrate on being a better me.
- Making sure I took at least an hour out of my day just for ‘me time’, I would either go to gym or read poetry in the evenings before I slept. It’s really important that you give yourself alone time because being able to value your self worth will make you a stronger person, it will enable you to decide what you need in life and what you dont, who is worth your time and who is not.
- Stay poisitive… just stay positive and try to turn a negative into a positive. Don’t allow other peoples opinions or judgments etc ruin your day or mood because why should you allow someone to have control over you.
- Every morning look at yourself in the mirror… smile and big yourself up because no ones opinion should matter more than your own and if that means standing infront of the mirror for half an hour complimenting yourself then go for it, do it.
- Focus on yourself and be soo happy and content with your own company that you don’t need anyone else.
- Never discredit yourself, if you’ve done something good or have achieved something then be proud of it, you don’t have to tell anyone but tell yourself.
I’d like to be very clear about this, so read it and understand it… you don’t need ANYBODY other than yourself to tell you your worth. You don’t need to depend on ANYBODY but yourself and you certainly don’t need ANYBODY for company when you have yourself and that is… Self- Love.
I hope you all enjoyed my first ‘serious’ topic, if theres any other topics/ issues you guys would like me to address then comment on this article or direct message me on @iqra_khvn xxx